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It's rainy in Portland again, and a bit cold. Sometimes I feel quite tired. Do you?   Isn't this the time when things are mostly done that will get done and we are meant to take stock of what we have and slow way down so it will last?   I should count you, your health and warmth, as my bounty. You should count me.   We should take turns walking out in the wet, green world - then come back, nest down, eat cabbage, rest against each other.   Isn't that right?   I know we have b

I mostly didn't grow up Catholic, despite my mother having been a nun. We mostly didn't go to church, but we did sometimes.   There were things there, mysteries, I knew to be complete; to contain everything. If I could grasp them, that would be enough: the folding and unfolding of our bodies, the way we passed peace like a mouse or flower from palm to palm, the incense in its chained vessel - the priest throwing its smoke on us, some words - light from light, god from god , e

1. I tell you a dream that I would like help understanding:   I'm in a place that's crowded, maybe a train station or all the train stations I've ever seen in life including books & movies. It's messy. I think all the people are versions of me - fumbling around on benches and at different counters; we're carrying baggage, eating food with our fingers, trying to wrap presents. We're disheveled and sticky.   The main me is snippy - like, mean - but deep to that mortified I can'

I'm convinced I want to get to know my fear. Need  to? Is that better? Maybe - but I'll go with want because I hope it to be friendly, like desire.   My own, personal,  fear. One thing that makes it tricky is that   often, when I notice her, it seems like she's a flock of birds driving at my face with flapping, pointed menace. Reckless menace. Hooked beaks with blood orange dots. Those eyes - you know? Screeching.   So...that's hard to greet and explore. But she's not, I don'

The Raft in my dream   has rigid edges like a shard    My feet meet it with each fall and don't consider walking off   Though I do notice the blue everywhere else cut with light.   A woman bends to something that will issue music  then a man shows up and I am invited. I go inside the raft   I lie down.   •   The raft is filled with music made from woven human voices  it is orange and elastic and I know the man is pulling it by swimming   tethered to a rope   I rock with it an

Sascha Demerjian “What you resist persists.”   Perhaps you know of this observation from Carl Jung (though, undoubtedly, others without access to platforms, also have observed this). These days whenever I see entreaties to resist I think of this. And I see many entreaties to resist.   I get it. I love my resist t shirt gifted by a dear friend and I know the importance of standing up for folks and to injustice. Yet I keep thinking of this observation and I can’t quite set it d

On my brother’s right bicep, tattoo ink read Forever Young before he was taken—brutally, nonsensically, when he was thirty years old. A...

1 In my dream the scientist had grown creatures.   2 They were face-less, limb-less, they glowed and had to live in water.   3 One was...

Love, I fear I might protect us from my gross dissolution in your soaking beauty -Laura