Disappointment

My disappointment is deeply tangled in my grief...so much so that

it is hard, at times, to tell them apart.

When I think of my mother who died in 2020, I am so full of disappointment

that this is how things ended for her...and for us.

I realize I held onto a hope that this hard time was the before.

That there would be an after.

An after for us both.

People may think I am disappointed in her.

But that is not true,

especially not now.

Just the grief for what could have been.

--Sascha