Breathe, Be
Your deep nervous system is always looking out for you. It makes predictions about danger and safety based on heaps of things — sounds, smells, the slant of the sun, the stride or slink in something's gate.
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Your breath. Fast and shallow? Your nervous system knows things are amiss. Slow and deep? Things might not be so bad.
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Let's take a few deep breaths together. We'll see how we feel after.
Alternate Nostril Breathing
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Pinch your nose between your thumb and middle finger.
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Lift off your middle finger and inhale through your left nostril as deeply as you can. Count as you inhale.
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Replace you middle finger at the top of your inhale — pinch your nose shut and hold your breath in for 4 seconds.
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Lift off your thumb and exhale through your right nostril all the way. Count as you exhale.
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Replace your thumb at the bottom of your exhale - pinch your nose shut and hold your breath out for 4 seconds.
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Repeat this cycle 4 times then start over inhaling on the right side and exhaling on the left.
Box Breathing
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Inhale as deeply as you can - hold your breath in for 4 seconds
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Exhale almost all the way - hold your breath out for 4 seconds
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Exhale the rest of the way and inhale as deeply as you can - hold your breath in for 4 seconds.
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Repeat the cycle 4 (or more) times.
Think, Don't Think
Don't Know Breathing
I’m an anxious worrier. During periods of acute grief I’ve found it helpful to schedule my anxious worrying. Here’s my method:
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1. Choose an interval - at first I find 5 minutes of worry to 10 minute of not worrying is a manageable ratio.
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2. Start - when the big hand of the clock get to 12 worry for 5 minutes. During these five minutes, if your mind wanders from your anxious thoughts and fears gently bring it back. Say, Now is your time, my love. You have 4 more minutes. You have 2 more minutes.
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When the big hand gets to 3 - stop. For the next 10 minutes when your brain starts to worry gently say to it, Not yet my darling - in 8 minutes you can start. Not quite yet - 6 more minutes.
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Start at the 6, stop and the 9. I like to do one hour long cycle and then take a break and let my thoughts move freely for a while. Then again.
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If you find (as I often do) you’ve forgotten to start worrying and it’s been more that 10 minutes - just start the cycle over from there. If it keeps happening space your intervals further apart. If you find you can’t fill 5 whole minutes with anxiety, shorten that period. The only rule is that you can’t lengthen the worry period.
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Set a timer for 7 minutes. On your inhales think don’t, On your exhales think know.
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Let any thoughts that come along come along and gently keep repeating, don’t know.
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Am I good? Don’t know. Am I bad? Don’t know. Will everything be fine? Don’t know. Should I eat a sandwich? Don’t know.
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You’ve answered the question. The answer is, don’t know. You’re free to set the question down.
Mindful Breathing
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Lie on your back.
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Put one hand on your belly and one hand on your chest. Use pillows to prop up your arms so you aren’t holding them up with your strength.
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Breathe completely normally.
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Feel your breath moving your hands. Think: This is how breath moves my body.