Alex Wilson

I didn’t know I was grieving for a long time - I thought grief was only a term used when someone you love transitions from the living world to the next.

 

There was this lingering sadness and sense of loss around my childhood, core relationships and life trajectory that I could not shake for the longest. It would haunt me even when things seemed to be going well in life. I felt like something was deeply wrong. I felt lonely. I was chasing a sense of home and security the past couldn’t offer me.

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It wasn’t until I took this course in graduate school around death and dying that I was able to name my grief. We were discussing different types of loss - the term Ambiguous Loss validated the emotional weight I was holding and gave shape to this grey cloud hovering over me. My grief was informed by loss that wasn't “concrete” or “final” - whatever that means. 

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As I learned more about death and dying, I realized life is constantly being formed from this process of coming apart and coming together. It could see how "death" had already happened to me again and again - in my relationships, in my body, in my identity, in connection to my home. I wasn't taught to notice or pause to grieve and celebrate these many deaths and births. My feelings of ambiguous grief were pointing to something I needed to tend. I began to look for teachers to help me better understand and connect with these cycles and learn to help others find their own connections to death and birth.

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My work as a death doula is strengthened by years of community health care work which honed my natural capacity for organizing, accepting and honoring diversity of every kind and offering calm resilience during times of crisis. I love working with people who are exploring their own connections to spirituality and the natural world and am also happy offering more practical support. I love learning about people's family stories and helping them shape this important chapter. I feel strongly that we don't need to die or grieve alone.